Session 5: Return to the Temple of Chauntea

The gang awoke in the morning, still somewhat distrustful of their Tabaxi friend, whose doppelgänger had betrayed them. Heading downstairs to the bar, the orc ordered a beer, but became incensed when told the price had risen due to a shortage from the siege. His yells awoke the Githzerai monks, who were meditating, who then approached the group.

Pleased that the portal device had been recovered, they handed over the deed to their monastery as promised, asking however that they be allowed to stay there until their mission was complete. The adventurers did not answer, but instead asked about the location of the waffle maker they were promised. The monks responded that they had determined that the ruffians that kidnapped their master and stole the waffle maker had been hired by the very same priests who had cheated the adventurers out of a payday days earlier.

The gang was also alerted to the fact that the citizens of Waterdeep were growing restless, and that the Lords, who had not met in a long time, were supposedly meeting to discuss the siege.

Their goals aligned, the adventurers set out, using their newly acquired portal device, to the Temple of Chauntea that they had visited in their first adventure together. The loggers they once met outside were gone, so the halfling stole their axes.

Entering the temple, they discovered it was similar to how they left it. The corpses were gone, and the paintings of Chauntea in the entry hall were slashed, but blood and mud stains they had caused remained. The flooded rooms remained so, although the colour of the water had turned murky. They did notice, however, that the symbol of Chauntea painted on the ground appeared newer than the stones around them.

The group found that rooms previously blocked off by large rocks were now open, and they entered the one near the fungi in the dorm room. Entering a room with a thick covering of fungus mush on the floor, they encountered a Myconid Sovereign, three Myconid Adults and five Myconid sprouts (mushroom people of decreasing size). A sprout approached the Orc to smell it, but was punted away. In retaliation, the Sovereign, their leader, sent hypnotic spores towards the Orc, who spent the next minute (an entire battle) mesmerised by pretty colours and unable to fight.

The myconids put up a valiant effort, but were rarely able to penetrate the armour of the adventurers. One particularly lucky sprout, however, would have killed the Goliath Barbarian all by itself (see: 56 damage from two crit hits) if not for the Goliath’s incredible defences. Nevertheless, the group sliced and diced (causing all of the mushrooms to squeal loudly whenever one was hurt), and burnt with a well aimed burning hands spell, the mushroom men, who dissolved into the goo on the floor. The gang found an odd, round, purple stone with an engraved picture of a mushroom on it, and left the room. The room with a floor covered in mush. The mush-room, if you will.

The group continued, and found a hallway they hadn’t visited. Entering at one end, but via the long side, they saw a statue and a door directly to their right, a long hallway to the left. At the end of the hallway was a door pointing on the long axis, and a door on the far side. Along the far side were four paintings of a sickly but strong woman (the same one depicted carrying a vial and a dagger in the statue) spreading decay during all four seasons. Along the near side were cages filled with dead Grung, empty vials, dead snakes and cracked eggs. Investigation into the statue and paintings yielded the same name: “Talona”.

The Orc, who had met followers of Talona before, explained her to the group. “She’s bad - spreads sicklyness and disease and stuff” the Orc managed to say, before the Tabaxi tripped and opened the door next to the statue.

“Releassse meeeee”, a voice called to him, and he obeyed. The room he had fallen into was a small but empty dungeon, with a man with the head of a snake chained in manacles on the far end. Skeletons of other Yuan-Ti lay to his sides in other manacles, as did a body in torn robes.

The Tabaxi walked to grab the key, but was grabbed in time by the Orc. Failing to break free, the Tabaxi cast misty step out of the grapple. The other group members entered, and together they attacked the chained Yuan-Ti until he lost his concentration. The Tabaxi picked up the key and, now aware of the trickery, threw the key (which was miraculously caught by the Goliath). Together, the group attacked the snake being (who failed to convince the Orc to turn on the Tabaxi, who the Orc was still suspicious of after being betrayed by him twice (sort of)) and chopped it’s left leg off before stabilising him. “We might need him later,” they reasoned. Out of the prisoner’s unconscious hand fell another stone - exactly the same as before, but with the symbol of a snake.

The group returned to the hallway and investigated the door on the wall with the paintings. It had a downwards pointing triangle etched into it (the Orc noted that this was the symbol of Talona), with each corner having space for the stones they had found, and one other. One with the picture of a mushroom. One with the picture of a snake. And one with the picture of a dragon.

The group, resolute, turned to open the door at the far end of the room, and entered a large octagonal room. There was a raised octagonal pedestal in the centre with stairs leading to it, and in the middle of that a 10 foot square cage, within which was a green dragon wyrmling. An acolyte, wearing the same robes as the corpse in the snake room, was preparing to cut the dragon with a blade before the adventurers entered. He looked at the adventurers, as did the dragon. They looked back.

And our time for this week was over.

The group was weakened, and the sorcerer, now level four, had barely used spells or taken damage. The fight nearly ended as soon as it began. The Goliath fell, and later bled out. The Halfling got a few hits in, but was also knocked out (he later stablised). It was the Orc who delivered the final blows, and, in his anger, he repeatedly attacked his former groupmate’s corpse, until it was a fine, Doppelgänger-coloured mess.

There were many.

Now only one being stood conscious.

The Mage, Rick, returned, noting that there were far more corpses than doppelgängers, but glad the ordeal was over with, simply gave the Orc the Portal device he was after.

As the goliath’s player was new to D&D, and I had the opportunity, I asked for a blind vote as to who wanted me to Deus ex machina him back to life. Two yes’s (from the new players), one no, and one abstention. Discussion with the abstention, I decided yes- but.

Rick portalled to another timeline and retrieved a new version of the Goliath, who seemed exactly the same, but was female. Other timeline differences may come into play later. Regardless, Rick kicked out the confused Goliath (whose timeline saw her party members all due to the doppelgängers), the bloodied Orc and the unconscious Halfling. Discovering the true Tabaxi groupmate’s unconscious body in the bushes, the Orc kicked him, and tied him up in the hemp rope that wasn’t smoked. The Tabaxi, kidnapped days ago, had no memory of the missing adventures which saw him gain exactly the same amount of XP as his doppelgänger earned - but did, unlike his doppelgänger, still have his tail, as he was kidnapped before it was cut off.

Incidentally, I forgot to mention: the Orc sold the tail to Tinkerpock in Session 3, hiding it from the Tabaxi.

The bloody Orc, carrying a bound Tabaxi in one arm and the unconscious Halfling rogue in another, and the displaced Barbarian, headed for the inn to recuperate. The Orc tucked the Halfling into a dresser, and chucked the Tabaxi on the floor.

The next day would see adventure again - but not until Session 5.

And yes, I planned this with the Tabaxi player weeks ago, as I realised I could bribe him the promise of a returned tail.

If the whole story seems odd and the references don’t stick, watch Rick and Morty, specifically Total Rickall, the obvious inspiration for the episode.

And yes, the map for the session was a rough scale map of the Smith residence that I made.

Dragged inside by the enigmatic mage Dr. Rick Sanchez, the group, bar the rogue, met: Reverse Giraffe, with a tiny body but regular giraffe sized head and neck; Hamurai, a samurai covered in ham armour; Orkbama, the chieftain of Buff Fiv’s tribe (Buff was sent to cross the ocean and retrieve special healing salt to revive Orkbama after a coup by Truumpsh, a detail we decided weeks ago); Brains, a Tabaxi who taught our group’s Tabaxi (Cloud) when he was younger; and an Ettin named Hargle, whose other head/brother was killed by members of our Goliath Barbarian’s tribe.

Rick explained that he knew some of them were doppelgängers feeding on memories, and all had asked him for his portal device to leave the city. He offered to give a replacement one to whoever was left after all the doppelgängers were dead, and he portalled out, enclosing the house in an adamant one shell (the rogue had broken in at this point and was looting another room).

Buff Fiv asked Orkbama how he was their, and was simply told that Orkbama didn’t like him. He ran off and cried, and was consoled by the Halfling Rogue.

Meanwhile, the Goliath Barbarian swung his axe at the Ettin - he didn’t think he was a doppelgänger, but he did think he was ugly. Hargle the Ettin pleaded for him to stop, and to focus on the doppelgängers. The barbarian eventually acceded, and suggested they each smoke a meter of his hemp rope (even after I assured them you can’t get high from this). They sat on a couch, and smoked.

Meanwhile Reverse Giraffe confronted Buff Fiv and the Halfling, but they killed him, revealing him to be a doppelgänger. Everyone was shocked (except the PCs)!

Buff then confronted Orkbama, who seemed less than trustworthy. Buff may be an idiot, but he was perceptive, and he picked up that this was not really Orkbama. Aided by Hamurai (who suspiciously missed his hits), the group dispatched of Orkbama, revealed to be a doppelgänger (the real Orkbama is back in Orcland).

Hamurai and Brains got into an argument, and a drug fail on a deception check ensured that one of Brains, the Tabaxi tutor of the group’s Tabaxi, arms revealed its true doppelgänger nature. Expending more actions, the group defeated him, but not without a casualty - Hamurai missed a slice and accidentally sliced Mr. Poopy Butthole through the chest. He was stabilised after bleeding out for a bit, but he was now unconscious. Brains’ last words revealed there was one last doppelgänger: Mr. Poopy Butthole (likely in the clear due to his own wound, Hamurai, who revealed the Halfling rogue had once sold him a fake dojo, Hargle the Ettin, the Goliath barbarian, the Tabaxi sorcerer, the Halfling rogue and Buff Fiv were all suspects.

Hamurai, agitated, was convinced by each of the remaining that they were real - except by the Goliath. He jumped over the high, crying Ettin (after a deep and meaningful with the Goliath, he was depressed over the loss of his ‘brother’) and attacked the Goliath. The group dispatched Hamurai (the sorcerer’s firebolts cooked the ham quite nicely, which the Orc began to eat after grappling the warrior), but were worried: they were expending most of their daily actions, they were tired and wounded - and Hamurai was real. There was still a doppelgänger left.

Hargle wished to join his brother, and attacked the Goliath weakly. The Goliath granted his wishes, and sliced the Ettin in two. His last words, “thank you”, shook the group further.

He was not a doppelgänger.

The Tabaxi group member, having used relatively few spells, lined up perfectly.

He cast burning hands on his group mates.

TBC

Session 3 I didn’t have the time to plan for, so it was simple: the hatch out of the dungeon where the Gith warrior they fought was was blocked off, and the were trapped. A grey ooze pretending to be wall attacked, and the group found a tunnel. Continuing through, fighting sentient armor and swords, the group came across a small room with treasure and junk, and found small automatons sifting though the piles of gear. Unprovoked, the group slaughtered the Modrons (though as they killed a higher ranking one first, one of the lower ones got promoted and upgraded).

The door upstairs opened - the group was now in the basement / workshop of the general store, run by a Gnome who had lost the deed to the scary Dragonborn Salasar in a poker game. The group convinced Tinkerpock, the gnome, that they had stolen nothing from the piles (they had), bought some gear (including ‘mystery boxes’ which held naught but useless trinkets, and made their way to the inn for the night.

Now for Session 2, weeks in the planning…

The next day, one of the Gith monks found them, and, held up and threatened by Buff Fiv (the Orc), they recounted how after the group had entered the basement, more ruffians stormed the monastery/dwelling, kidnapped the Head Monk and the other Gith Monk, and stole the waffle maker (which the Orc kept asking about). The monk proposed that the group go to a mage’s house, as the Mage was working on an interplanar portal device that may be able to be reconfigured to allow them to travel outside the besieged city. Meanwhile, the Gith would research and try to find where the ruffians were.

The monk explained exactly what they wanted: them and their friends were only in the material plane as part of a hunting mission that went wrong. There was a cave-in, and the Illithids, if they were still alive, escaped, while some members of the party died. Unwilling to return to Limbo as failures, they would remain until they were certain the Illithids were all dead. Now, the monk wanted their friends back, the Githyanki hordes repealed, and proof that the Illithids were dead. By retrieving the portal device, the group could help the monk achieve the second objective.

The monk promised the group that, upon return to Limbo, the group could have anything they desired as crafted from the primal forces of that plane. For the act of retrieving the portal device, they would also be given the deed to the monastery (as upon return to Limbo the Githzerai would have no need of dwellings in the material plane), and for retrieval of the master they would receive the waffle maker (no, it isn’t electric).

The group agreed, and headed towards the mage’s house. They knocked on the door, while the halfling rogue snuck around the side, and it was opened.

“Ooo-wee Rick, said Mr. Poopy Butthole, "there’s more visitors!”

Tbc

The night was dark, but the whole group could see the army of Githyanki at the walls of Waterdeep. Siege!

With no need to wait for the inn to finally open his loot, the Orc opened the crate and found… A portal through to the inn?

It was night, and the inn was empty. Most of the priests who had lost their temple were asleep upstairs. The bard, who had asked the group to retrieve a book from the temple, was chatting to the innkeeper. The group used an illusion and convinced him they found the book (they found only a prayer book and the cover of the one he wanted) and he paid them for their troubles.

The group went upstairs and rested (the Orc, however, simply passed out after eating a large chunk of meat). When they awoke, they learned the priests left the inn without rewarding them or the barkeep, and the portal was lost (someone had blocked the crate). They met an imposing Dragonborn, Balasar, who owned the local general store (but did not work there, as the locals do not trust a wealthy Dragonborn).

The group went to try to convince the local blacksmiths, a lovely Dwarf couple who also happened to be Milo’s, the bard’s, fathers, to give them cheap (ridiculously cheap) armor in exchange for advertising. The Orc befriended one, but the Halfling offended both, and they left.

Hearing of a riot in the city’s North (the slums), the group went to see what was happening. A group of bandits and thugs were banging on the doors of a Githzerai monastery, seeing no difference between these peaceful monks and their dangerous cousins outside the walls. The few guards who weren’t on the walls or guarding the rich were here, ensuring the riot went unperturbed. The Goliath, getting angry, lifted one up and threw him at his colleague. The group fought all five (after putting two to sleep), and knocked them all out.

The bandits, impressed, offered to let the group inside the building to kill the Gith (by faking their own defeat, they would allow the Gith to trust the Players, allowing the Players to break in and kill everyone). The players objected, killing the group.

Invited inside, the group elected not to kill the Githzerai. These four Githzerai were survivors of an ill fated journey to the material plane to kill Illithids. The raid went wrong, and there was a cave in. Though these four survived, they never heard from their fellows again, and there were no known other exits from the caves. Unwilling to risk dishonour by returning without proof of the Illithids’ demise, the group remained in Waterdeep, hoping to hear from their co-Gith again. Now, with the city besieged by their other immortal enemies, the Githyanki, they believe their time is short.

They offer the group untold riches if they can aid in an unspecified assault against the Githyanki and Illithids, on the condition that the group prove their mettle by killing a Githyanki warrior (one they kept in the basement with his armor and sword) in a fair fight. The group accepts, and succeed - however the Tabaxi lost his tail.

Having completed this task, what awaits the group? What mission do the Githzerai have for them? Why do the Githyanki besiege Waterdeep? What ever happened on that ill-fated raid? The story continues…

the-togepi-man:

(via auttoton)

Wow okay so a Christian coworker just implied to me with a stern/accusatory look that the Jews killed Jesus and she hasn’t forgiven them so I’m ready to be back at uni

This guy